Posted by Colleen on January 25, 2004 at 09:11:29:
Date: 16 Oct 2003
you're on my mind like crazy, little one. funny how for so long you seemed frozen in time to me, as though i would never be able to remember much more than silly debaucherous moments and musings for the futures of our oh-so-mature 20, 21 year old selves. (and aren't those, often times, the most precious memories?) but i feel differently, these days. the last few dreams have left me reeling with the certainty that you are still with us, and wiser than any of us think. i had that dream last week, with you helping me sneak away, and me being unsure. i paused, for guidance of some sort- and you completely surrounded me with warmth and a firm, LOUD statement of "I AM STILL WITH YOU!" and you pushed me forward. and i began running. i didn't make it out of my situation in time, even still. but the consequences of failure were more pleasant than not. and i was aware that you were still there. now, my feelings are so different. as though you and i have seen each other recently, like we hung out and had a long, meaningful discussion. and i feel BETTER. at a time and place when i feel completely isolated from everyone i know, you're still there. you, the one person that should for all intents and purposes be further away than anyone i know. does this post sound crazy? "listen to the freak talk about hanging out with dead people?" maybe so. i don't care. i love you, sarabear. thank you for still being my friend. :)
Last changed: October 16, 2003