Posted by Lindsey on January 25, 2004 at 09:10:16:
Date: 08 Oct 2003
i think about sara a lot. i dont remember exactly the last time i saw her; all of my memories of her are swirled together like one big silent montage. moment after moment, some are still shots, some are short scenes. i remember being upstairs at the bellevue house, her telling me not to take any shit. i remember me making her stupid, soft pictures out of felt to try and bring her hospital room some color, and ellicit a smile. i remember walking into her first hospital room and seeing her father staring at the floor. i remember going to the grand opening and getting a special donut from krispy kreme, in its own little bag, just for her. i remember making cupcakes for her, and having zane tell me she couldnt eat - how i froze, and the feeling of the sudden black emptiness that filled me. i remember coming back to the house to find her sitting at the computer ethan built me, looking at free porn. i remember making her a goth barbie for christmas 2001 - a gift that was not quite finished, or delivered. i remember discussing the trials of being endowed with breasts. i remember sending little cards and presents with zane. i remember tenalp. i remember enjoying not being the only one who enjoyed both bitchiness and sanrio (hello kitty). i remember being continually disturbed at the lifesize cutout of the wwf (whatever) guy that sara laughingly refused to take home because it creeped her out too. i remember telling her that she looked awesome with short hair, and her replying that she hated it and looked like a lesbian, and me thinking that she was sort of right, but that she looked hot, and would make a killing as a lipstick lesbian goth model. i remember the notes and cards and hugs sara sent and gave me. i remember being invited infinite times to rocky horror, and refusing to go because i knew she would mortify me, being a virgin. i remember her talking about the impending return to her fall semester at UW. i remember her in her first remission, happily showing me all of the new clothes her mom had bought her when they went shopping..... i remember all of these and more. and i miss her.